The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
