Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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