Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize