Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
