I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
