yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
