ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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