I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
