i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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