Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize