I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
