Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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