Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The ass gains better be worth it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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