bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
