my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
