Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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