Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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