Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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