Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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