youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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