Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
be right there i have to get my cape
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
