don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
zippers are such a cool invention
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize