playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
