How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
