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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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• (559): View more from California

  Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  she started talking about my kids

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  was she topless?

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.

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