i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just cropdusted the office
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
