you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
