Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
