I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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