Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He passed out mid-signature
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
