A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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