Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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