She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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