8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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