i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
