your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
