I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
