We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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