Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
