I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
