I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
