just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
