I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
