I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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