how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
