dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
