careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
