I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
