Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
