i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
