Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
