it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
