so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
