Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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