I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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