hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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