I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
