I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thus making me awesome and them whores
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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