haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
