How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
