Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
