please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
