You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
