I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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