3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
